Incubating

Me and my sis

I don't really talk about being pregnant all that often, in fact, I enjoyed keeping it a secret for the five months that I did...for the most part anyway. A few knew here and there, but for the most part, I never mentioned it. And I liked it that way.

I think I'm finally getting out of that totally awkward stage, the borderline stage of is she pregnant, or just getting fat? Going to the gym was especially awkward, I felt like I had to walk around touching my stomach, hand on back, for nothing more than the chubby pooch that didn't look pregnant at all, just chubby. I wanted people to believe I was pregnant, and not at the gym as a new years resolution to finally shed some pounds. Although, I'm never opposed to shedding some pounds, and if that's your new years resolution, good job! But working out and knowing you're not going to be losing weight is a hard thing to grasp when you're pregnant. The scale does nothing but go up, not down. I'm still trying to grasp that that's a good thing. When is gaining weight good?! Oh yeah, when you're pregnant. Awesome.

Last night I finally had a dream about being a mom and having a child. Usually I just dream about my poor little kitty who has yet to come home. Clearly I still have high hopes for his return. I kinda miss that little guy. But my dream, it seemed so real, so exciting, so great. And then I woke up. I surprised myself that I was actually sad the dream wasn't real, I guess I've finally reached the point of being really excited about having a baby. Only six months later.

Call me horrible, but feeling like crap for six months straight, the last thing I ever felt was excited. I still don't feel awesome, especially when I have to start unbuttoning my pants half way through the day, sometimes the zipper goes down too, and that's when the beyond uncomfortable feeling takes over. All I can think is, I'm not even big yet! Regardless, I'm starting to feel excited, so I'll take the uncomfortableness and all and run with it. Quite literally, and running with pressure down there...well, it's a little more difficult than I'm used to.

But his kicks, his punches, and all of the movement of his that I feel, it let's me know that it's all for a good cause, because he's coming whether I'm ready or not. But let's be frank here, I'm going to rock at being a mother! Ha

So, bring on the next three months of pregnancy, getting bigger, and being totally and completely over the top uncomfortable. I can only imagine the loads of fun it's going to be, especially when I remind myself that May is the prime time for tornadoes here in OK. I'm sure fun won't even begin to describe what that month has in store for us.