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The dreaded sleep training that is. He's already an awesome sleeper, sleeping between 8-10 hours most nights, and has been for at least a month and a half now (aside from our vacay), but the putting him down part, well, that's where we "struggle". We tried this awful task at two months old, and, after a failed attempt, more on our part than his, we're back at it again. How was I a-ok with hearing my child scream in his crib at two months old, and a month later, it's beyond heartbreaking. Probably because at two months old he was still in that, cry all the time, phase so, it was nothing new. Now, he's like the happiest, cutest, and funniest little thing I ever did see, and it kills me. After 45 minutes of screaming, he's finally calmed down, except now, it's even more heart breaking because he's just in there whimpering to himself. You know, that whimpering that happens while you're calming yourself down after a good hard cry. Yes, it's killing me. That poor little boy.
Here's to hoping my sweet little baby can quickly learn how to put himself down to sleep at night, instead of relying on me to rock him into his slumber every.single.night. But first, why, may I ask, is that such a bad thing? Rocking my child to sleep is one of my favorite things to do, ever! I cherish those moments at night, knowing it won't last. Yet, every single baby book that I've read, warns against it. A bad habit they say.
When is loving on your child ever a bad thing? Answer me that.
15 comments:
Love him enough to let him learn to put himself to sleep.....kidding....that's what the books will say. I remember cynthia rocked Easton to sleep one time and inside I was like, "No!!! He's ruined!!" Thanks to all the sleep books. I say nothings wrong with rocking him. I let my kids cry to sleep cause even rocking them didn't work. Good luck!
Good luck. I couldn't do it when Tanner was little and just rocked him. It was "us" time and I enjoyed it. Eventually it got to the point where I could tell he was manipulating me/proloning bedtime and at that point we let him cry for short periods - that was when he was close to a year. He has gotten much better with sleep but we still have tough times. This move has done a number on his sleep and he has had to cry multiple times because if we are there with him he just plays. I will say it never gets easier to hear your kid cry. Luckily *knock on wood* Spencer is a much better sleeper. I say just go with your gut and if it works for you, don't worry about what the books say.
-This is Elise...I just realized I am on Lowell's computer.
I know nothing about this topic. Except that face is to die for. I miss him.
I read a ton of different books on babies and I know that some books say its bad to rock your baby to sleep, but not all books say that- so read both sides. And what it really comes down to is you. What do you want to do and what feels right? Do that. You know your baby- you spend your time with him. Not the people who wrote the books.
This may seem silly, but I only rock my little guy if he is upset. otherwise, I just hold him while he is falling asleep and when he is close to asleep, I lay him down. I think that made the transition easier on him, teaching himself how to fall asleep, because he wasn't used to the movement. I have never let my little guy cry it out, and he sleeps 10-12 hrs straight every night. No he has not always done that- but I am saying that you can get to that point! It doesn't have to be an all or nothing, it can be gradual steps to teaching him how to fall asleep on his own. No matter what you decide, good luck! You are a great Mom and will decide to do what is best.
I have heard your not supposed to start sleep training until at least 6 months. Before then they are to young to manipulate you and need to feel safe in their environment. I don't know if that is true but I know the few times I tried with Abigail when she was that little it wasn't working. Now that she is 5 months she does it great, most of the time. There are still times that after several attempts of putting the binky back in she still won't fall asleep so those times I hold her until she is almost asleep or asleep. I say do what feels good to you because as everyone has told me, they are only little once. I figure when they are old enough to know what is going on, then that is when it is really important for them to go to bed on their own. Just my thoughts and good luck!
I'm a full-fledged supporter of cry it out. I don't particularly enjoy the sound of my child crying, but I love love love once they learn to self-soothe. I'd say 7 out of 10 times, Noah falls asleep in my arms each night, but on those few nights where he isn't zonked out by the end of his feeding I snuggle him, kiss him and lay him down and he'll fall asleep on his own. Especially as they get older, they'll fall asleep less and less in your arms, so it's good to have that habit of self-soothing established. It also makes for an easier nap time - they're tired, you put them down, they fall asleep.
Good luck! It usually only takes a few bad days before they're rocking the awesome sleep habits!
Well, you remember how disastrous putting James to sleep used to be (and sometimes still is) and I am positive it all started with holding him to sleep every night. Yeah, it was nice because they are so precious when they sleep and are only little once, but be careful the habits you sow because it's not so cute when they get too old for it and start stalling and it takes 2 hours to "rock them to sleep" and you are frustrated beyond belief every night that your kid just won't go to sleep!
The older they get the harder it is to hear them cry. I was just thinking the same thing as you--that I didn't have that big of a problem hearing Livy cry when she was younger but now it eats at me. When they can say "Mom" it is even worse, so do it now before he can scream your name because that is heart wrenching.
I rock Berkley to sleep every time too. Oops! Can't help it...she my BABY!!!!
From his photo, I can hear him tell you to listen to your inner voice and do what it tells you to do...kiss him and hug him lots and snuggle him whenever you can because some day, he'll not want it or will move across the country and you'll wish you had of snuggled when you had the chance. Keep in mind, you were a terrible child at settling down!
No fun!! {but your hard work will be well worth it soon and your little man will thank you for a good sleep} My daughter was totally fine with putting her down to sleep without rocking...we pretty much did Baby Wise to the T with her and it worked great; however, my new guy I can TELL it will be a whole new story. He cries the second I set him down and practically demands being held all the time...I may be going to you for wisdom when it's time for him to sleep train. :) He is so dang cute!
There's nothing wrong with over-snuggling your baby. Do it, because you can : ). I think the reason why the sleep books urge you to not over-snuggle your children to sleep is because they know of far too many children that depend on that for way too long. I have two friends that immediately come to mind...one had to hire a professional eventually to help them sleep train their son, because at 2 or 3 years old, the parent still had to be lying next to the child or else he would not sleep. The parents hadn't slept in the same bed for 3 years! My other friend is a neighbor here, and she is the mother of a 5 year old who shares a room with her 5 year old. Only this year was she able to go from SHARING THE TWIN BED with her 5 year old to getting separate twin beds for themselves--but the mom is still sharing a bedroom with her 5yo. Her husband has his own room downstairs!!! I know these are extreme cases, but they happen in all different degrees. The point is just that it's much easier to sleep train an infant than an older toddler or an older child. We put off the sleep training until 9 months old sometimes. But I say snuggle while you can!
from Lorena:
If you're doing it because you want to do it, you feel it is time to do it, you feel it is right to do it, then do it. But don't do it just because some books told you to do it that way. Because there are also books that will tell you to do it the exact opposite way. In my opinion he is still young enough to snuggle to sleep if you feel like it and you still have plenty of good months for sleep training later if snuggling is what feels good now. Remember those books have to try to sell you on their methods. Not that they can't work, but there isn't one "right" way. The most important thing is doing what works for you as a mother (and John!) and Preston's individual personality.
For the record, I nursed Michael and Ella before sleep until they were about one, and it never caused a problem. For many months, they fell asleep doing it. Then as they got older sometimes they weren't knocked out but I put them down once they were done nursing anyway. It was fine. Sometimes they fussed for 5 or 10 minutes but I was consistent. And it was great - I loved doing it that way. If it had been a problem, I would have changed my method, but it wasn't and so I got to do what felt good to me. But if I'd listened to some authors I would have missed out on one of my favorite things. So if you like cuddling, you could do it for a set time and then put him down whether or not he is asleep but just be consistent on how long the cuddle is, and he learns he gets cuddles and then once he hits the crib that is it.
All I know is that I HATED sleep training. What makes it hard is that every baby is different so what works for one baby might not for another. Ada cried for an hr straight one night when we were training her to sleep through the night and Ivy has been much easier. GOOD LUCK! Just remember, he won't remember any of this. He won't think that you were neglecting him (At least I don't THINK he will. )
PS...that was not Scott. I am sure you figured that out.
Wow, all these comments were so interesting!! I loved it. dork alert. I personally couldnt let Case cry it out. I always felt like there was something I could do I just made sure nothing was a habit. Yes, I nursed him to sleep (usually at church), yes I rocked him to sleep (usually on vacation). I did notice that when Case was hyper and passed the point of "i can put myself to sleep" (caused by lack of sleep in naps) then it was much harder. Then the soothing process to help him realize he was tired was longer. Its still like that today. lemme know what you decide to do. Remember, listen to your gut. Something I didnt do enough.
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